Fake Friends- I’m sure most of us have been there at some point! I take all of my friendships seriously and I never just hang around with someone or spend time with someone for the sake of it, I love my friends dearly and I value them all for their own unique ways.
As I have got older my friends have certainly dropped, I left school with so many friends but we all end up going out separate ways and doing our own thing! And that’s ok, that’s just life. You meet plenty of people throughout your life and it is true what people say, it’s not about who you’ve known the longest it’s who is there for you when you really need them.
I invest my time and feelings into people and this is something I guess I’ve always struggled with. I always take things to heart and I am a really sensitive person, so when people come along who’s intensions are not the same it can be really heartbreaking. You might think that’s a bit dramatic, but it’s true.
I can honestly count about 3 people in my life who I feel have someone used me for a period of time or befriended me for the wrong reasons.
We ALL have those ‘friends’ that call us up when THEY need or WANT something. I think this becomes obvious who these people are over time, it doesn’t mean you have to cut them off just be wary of their intentions and always put yourself first.
I’ve had a friend who was so close to me who I honestly trusted with my heart, turn around and post nasty things about me on the internet. This honestly broke me! And since that I can openly say its taken me A LOT to trust someone in the same manner. But, maybe that was good for me? Maybe I was too trusting in the first place? Maybe she did me a favour?
How did I deal with this situation – I cried. A lot at first! I couldn’t believe the names I was being called or the person I was being accused to be! After everything!
It really made me feel like this person didn’t know me at all, I Even questioned myself (which let me tell you, never do this because of someone else’s negative actions!) .
After a few weeks I got over the situation and moved forward with my life, when someone has done you wrong in such a manner to post things online/get their friends to add to this I don’t think there is ever going to be a way to move forward WITH this person. You need to move forward WITHOUT them. As sad as that is. It needs to be done!
If you are dealing with negative/fake friendships either at school, work, or in day to day life I would advise you to do the best you can to just block them out. Don’t even interact in conversations with them if you don’t need to! Less is always more!
My advice is ALWAYS not to necessary fall out with this person, but keep your wits about you. It is more hassle to fall out with someone and way more awkward then just to keep them there being aware of what they are like and not rising to any of their drama.
Fake friends normally only hang around because you have got something they can benefit from. If you cut the benefit you will be able to determine if that friend was a fake friend or not. If they are an fake friend you won’t hear from them anymore because that benefit has been cut, but if they are a genuine friend you will still hear from them this is a good way to realise and maybe put your mind at ease with fake people.
I once had a friend who could not drive. She used to get me to drive her everywhere which at first I did not mind, but after a while I did feel like she was taking the p*ss, as soon as my car was unavailable I didn’t hear from her anymore, or not as much. This made me realise that she was a bit of a user this was my first experience in a proper fake friend. To be honest the friendship soon ended shortly after as I cut the benefit that she was using me for and it made me realise a lot. I just would take longer to respond to her texts and not feed into her as much. I was happy to end this friendship without any drama, it just fizzled out!
I hope my advice has somewhat helped you deal with fake friends, just the one thing to remember is …. CUT the benefit and you will soon see who your REAL friends are!
Avoid the drama by not causing any arguments but just slowly distancing yourself from the situation.
I don’t want to end this post on a negative, let these fake people in your life realise how amazing your not so fake friends are! Cherish your friendships with those who really value you and invest your time with those people!
Life is too short to feel crappy about fake friends and people!
Make the most of what you have got!