In today’s blog post I am going to talk about life as a single Mum, although when this first happened to me I found it hard to come to terms with, I was a single Mum, I was doing this alone! I would never find a boyfriend, I would never end up having more children and no one is going to take me seriously, I’m not going to have enough money to do anything, I’ll never be able to go back to work/finish education! These are just a few things I worried about.
I was a single Mum from the day Lily was born. I basically did my pregnancy alone too! At the time this made me sad, because the person I was with was causing me A LOT of stress, that’s what made me realize, if pregnancy was this stressful having a baby with someone who’s priorities were not in the right place would be 10 times worse! I’m glad I did it alone because if I had of hung around any longer I probably would have ended up with depression or a lot worse!
Luckily I had the support of my Mum and Dad, my friends too! And everyone was amazing! I think everyone was extra nice to me because of my situation to! So I can’t complain! 🙂
I loved and still love being a single Mum, some people might think that sounds crazy, but I have no dramas of someone telling me what to do / how to raise my daughter. I’m not saying that’s what happens when you are with someone but for me if I had of hung around that most certainly would have been the case.
I can do what I when I want, I get to spend more time with my family who love myself and Lily dearly! We both are really happy and most importantly Lily is SAFE.
I was 21 years old when I had Lily (although mentally I was about 16!) I can admit I was VERY immature and I had A LOT of growing up to do!
If you hadn’t previously have guessed, no the person I had Lily with is NOT involved. I have never once asked for money or anything from him. We have NO involvement with each other. (This is a long story I won’t bore you with the details!)
Lily sees her Grandad as her Father figure which I think is so cute because I wouldn’t pick anyone better! Like I said before my Mum and Dad do SO much for Lily!! And myself! I dread to think where I would be without them!
People often ask me what is the hardest part about being a single mum?
I don’t think there is a hardest part about a being a single Mum, I mean, I can’t really compare it as it’s all I know, but I would just say it’s the financial aspect.
I don’t claim CSA (Child support allowance) so I don’t get that extra bit of income. I work very hard and I do struggle but it is what it is and I just have to keep going with it!
I found it really hard to make ‘Mummy friends’ I felt like some of the friendships were just forced because they had children, but sometimes it’s what you have to do so your child can have friends.
I was the only one with a baby in my friendship group so none of my genuine friends had baby’s, I did become friends with people who had children and we still are now. Now Lily is almost 6 years old my actual friends and school friends have also started to have babies so that’s great and we all go off and do things together!
One day I would love more children, to be honest, I thought I would have done so by now. This is something I’m definitely not going to rush into this time, I’m going to wait until I am financially stable and in a committed relationship. Who knows what is going to happen, I am happily taking each day as it comes and not putting any pressure on anything or anyone and defiantly no pressure on myself! Life is too short I am grateful for the beautiful little girl I have who I can call my BEST FRIEND!
If you are reading this and you are a single Mum or you are about to be a single Mum my only bit of advice would be to stay positive and take each day as it comes. It’s not easy but taking each day as it comes and not putting too much pressure on yourself is the way forward!
I would also advise to talk to people, keep busy and keep happy! Life is too short! Being a single Mum is so common these days it’s really not that big of a deal! If you want anyone to talk to you can always pop me a message!
There are also so many groups online that arrange mummy meet ups and things like that it’s well worth looking into!
I hope this post has helped you guys get to know me and my Mummy story a bit more, and I really hope it’s show any of you who are just starting your Single Mum Life that you can do this, you are stronger than you think, you will hit roadblocks along the way, but you’ll triumph over them because you have that precious baby who with one look fills you with so much love and strength to get through anything.